Daily Jokes Gone Viral: Dating Edition

Andy from Miami

As you can tell, I have a face and physique that is just made for online dating…When I joined OKCupid I was flooded with messages from scantily clad women asking me to click on a link. I even had a long conversation with one asking her how could I tell she is for real. Her last reply was that she was nude, to which I replied so am I, but I am not asking you ro click on a link.

Andrew from London

Girls on match.com only care about whether you are over 6 feet tall, you love the beach, and you love to “have fun.” That’s it. Girls on christianmingle, are born again Christians who love the beach and want you to be over 6 feet tall, and have “Christian fun.”

Every profile on Plenty of Fish says they are not there  for a hook up.  One question. Why did you sign up for a web site called Plenty of Fish?

Andre from Paris

I went to a speed dating event, and I met a cute girl. I told her that I am from in France, and my English is not very good. (Fake French Accent) She said me too, and I said, SHIT! (no accent)

Daily Jokes Gone Viral, Really?

Andy from Miami

I love teaching foreign people what it’s like to be a real American, that’s why I teach ESL.

Andy from New York

I always say, buy low, sell high! Simple. But nobody ever listens…

Dre from Chicago

Yo, I ain’t ever made a spelling mistake in my life, but my teachers said I did.  I always be like, they stole my letters I sold to them, just so they can sell me a lower grade.

 

Daily Jokes Gone Viral – Olympic Edition!

Andy from New York

Swimming is an Olympic sport, but that’s it. The only time you see it is at the Olympics.

Common people, what does it actually take to be a bodybuilder or weight lifter? Daily potein shake, a $19/month gym membership for like 2 months, and a short sleeved shirt. With those tools, any guy can easily work security on the Jerry Springer Show.

I believe in student athletes just not athletic students.

Dre from Chicago

If we want people to really watch the Olympics, we need to make pro wrestling an Olympic sport. Yo, China, can you smell what the Rock is Cookin?

Yo, I don’t like to talk about my childhood and family that much. Let’s just say I was on the Jerry Springer Show more than once growing up.

12th edition

Daily Jokes Gone Viral!

Andy from Miami

I’m the kind of person who doesn’t pick his friends. They pick me.

When people see my pic, they tell ne I should put it in my online dating profile. I tell them it’s already there!

Dre from Chicago

People get excited about the wierdest stuff.  I know one guy  who gets excited about grocery store sales. He says, “Duuude  did you buy the salmon last night?” It was oooon sale!!

Andy from New York

When I go the doctor they ask me how tall am I, and I always say, I’m 6″6, just to make sure they are paying attention!

All Jokes are Original Content Written By

Andrew Zwolf, America’s Favorite Freak

 

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