Andreas from Munich
(German Tourist Routine) Hallo. Wie gehts dir? How are you? Zo, I come down to Mallorca for Der Ballerman Hits Concert to listen to der fatstasiche superstars. How many of you have heard of Diana Sorbello (No Response). (Sing Diana Sorbello Song) (Still No Response) OK, zo what about Volkenfrei? (No Response). Sing Volkenfrei Song (Still No Response) Fein! How about Peter Wackl’s Scheiss Drauf? (No Response Again). Du people haf no leif! Vhere are du people frohm!!
Before I asked Sandra from Mallorca to marry me, I told her deht she is mein klein, little Spanish appelstrudel, und I wanted to wrap her in leiderhosen, put her in der wunderoven und take her to Deutschland wid me. I still don’t know why she said no.
Andy from New York
Last week, a buddy of mine and I went to the Tilted Kint for dinner. For those of you who have never been there, the food is horrible. You pay extra dollars to see a girl wearing only a tilted kilt serve a mediocre hamburger. So, last night, we went to Hooters. Believe it or not, it was my first time at Hooters. Let’s just say there are no owls in there. After the waitress took our order, my buddy asked me an important question: “So, Andy, how does this place compare to the Tilted Kilt?” I replied and said, Sal, I don’t know, I haven’t had the food yet.
Andres from Barcelona
If you ask me, there are two types of food to eat in Spain: el pollo (chicken), and el cerdo (pork). If you each too much pollo, you start looking like a pequeño, little, chicken. Now, if you start eating you too much cerdo, you start lookin’ like a pequeño, pig. And if you are a gringo, you start lookin’ like un cerdito gringo.
Drew from Seattle
Omg. I love pets. I make sure though whenever I adopt, doesn’t matter, what kind of pet, the pet must be LGTBQ. I try to accommodate that pet as much as possible. For example, if it’s a cat, I make sure to get a gender neutral litter box.